My Secret Garden

Would you like a peek inside my life? I thought I'd give you a little tour around my backyard so you can see all the beauty I've been enjoying. My grandma (Mamaw Shawhan) used to have flowers everywhere - African violets lining the bay window in the kitchen, big beautiful roses and peonies by the deck (they smelled sooo good), and flower beds all along the side of the house. She had blackberry bushes and a vegetable garden in the backyard too. She’d make blackberry cobbler and the best butternut squash I've ever tasted.

It was heaven. No worries there, just go and be. Free to be me and be curious, and feel the wind in my hair as I rode my bike up and down the neighborhood of dead end streets. I would take my red suitcase that read "Going to Grandma's House" on the front of it and off I went. I was ready. My family says I never cried or got homesick. In fact, I don't really ever remember wanting to go back home ;)

I think a big reason I love it here and want to create a home like it comes from the peace and ease I felt when I visited my grandparents. There was always homemade food, an upright piano, lots of peace and quiet, a cottage style home, hardwood floors. We would play games, run through the sprinklers in the yard, laugh and eat ice cream. I’d listen to all their stories, ask questions, and feel completely cared for.

These past couple months spent in quarantine have been challenging, of course. But this time has also turned out to be one of the greatest gifts I could have ever received. And allowing myself to receive it is also a huge victory for me. With live performances being postponed or rescheduled, I’ve had more time and space to do a lot of things I kept saying I would like to do - like rest, cook, read, garden, walk, meditate, write, start a live stream, do my taxes… I’ve also been able to show up for my friends more, evaluate what I’m doing, and what I really want to do moving forward.

As a result, my perspective has started to pivot. I’m realizing everyday is more about showing up to do what I say I’m going to do, whether I feel “ready” or not. And to prioritize my own self discovery - what lights me up, what I can get into that will feel good, relaxing, exciting, or fulfilling. What can I follow through with, and who can I help along the way that may also need permission to enjoy life more too, or do something they've always wanted to do.

Much love to you.

Until next time, Cheers!

<3 Jenny